The Flitch, The Mayor, Town Crier and Louise from ‘Over the Wall’: an everyday scene in Great Dunmow
Ever since that famous day in July 2008, when Jeff and Erin won their Flitch Trial in Great Dunmow, people have been asking, ‘What happened to their Flitch?’
Due to a draconian policy instigated by US border control, citizens are not permitted to bring fully grown, but recently deceased pigs into their country.
‘I was mighty miffed when I found out,’ drawled Jeff, who grew up in Arizona. ‘This here Flitch represents my love for Erin, which was ratified by the kind folk of Great Dunmow giving us yonder pig.’
‘I agree,’ continued Erin. ‘It would have quite easily fitted into our hand luggage. But no mind, while the Flitch remains in Essex, my true love is by my side every day. Aren’t you honey?’
‘Good Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise!’
Michael Chapman: Flitch Trial judge, solicitor and carvery operative
Fortunately for all concerned - and always eager to avoid an international incident - Flitch Trial Judge Michael Chapman came up with a brilliant solution.
The Flitch would remain in England, but be used to entice the local populace to purchase tickets to a Yankee Hog Roast to be held on Thanksgiving day. The proceeds would then be donated to the ‘Over the Wall’ charity.
Jeff and Erin: more interesting in real life
Flitch-Trial audience member, Chris Collins applauds their great idea. ‘Jeff and Erin met while working for the US arm of the ‘Over the Wall’ charity. They have dedicated their professional lives - and much of their personal life to the welfare of children - so there is a perfect symmetry to their Flitch being converted into a charitable resource.’
The Flitch: a right carve up
Well, as all should know by now, when the people of Great Dunmow set their heart on something, you’re guaranteed a first class event. The Great Dunmow Rotary club swung into action: pig roasting and carving experts generously donated their time; decorations were hand-crafted by teams of dedicated artisans and tickets were sold by the dozen.
The Flitch Trial chaplain. ‘No loaves and fishes, I’m afraid, but how about a wedge of hog-in-a-bap?’
Get your baps out
Do you come here often?
It didn’t take long for the Flitch to disappear as over a hundred dancers chowed-down. Then it was time to grab your partners, and mosey onto the dancefloor.
‘I was able to see the photos from the event prior to them being posted online,’ explained Flitch-Trial audience member and line dancing expert, Elaine Cagnina. ‘Getting some of those steps right is harder than getting an MD Phd. But from what I saw, the dancing at the Hog Roast was flawless.’
Mark volunteers to relay a message of love from Tennessee
During a break in the dancing, Louise from Over the Wall explained what great work the charity does, working with seriously ill children - many of them with life limiting conditions.
A message of love from Jeff and Erin was relayed by Mark:
Dear Great Dunmow-ians,
Our love and greetings from the United States.
As you may know the last Thursday in every November is Thanksgiving in our country. It is a time to gather round the homestead fire, over-eat, fall asleep, and later, God-willing, argue with our nearest and dearest.
Of course Erin and I would never argue on these occasions, or indeed on any occasion, despite having won the Flitch and therefore now being technically at liberty to have domestic ding-dongs at our leisure.
Many years from now, when we sit with – we hope – our children and Grandchildren, we will fondly tell them the tale - a tale we will never tire of telling - of the time we came to Great Dunmow, were welcomed with open arms and because we were able to convince 6 fair maidens and 6 handsome bachelors that our love was pure and true, we were given half a pig. (A pig which you’ve eaten tonight)
The memory of those few days, with you, the warm and kind people of Great Dunmow will always add an extra glow to the fire in the hearth of our homestead, and in time, we look forward to seeing you once again.
Our love,
Jeff and Erin
It may not surprise you to learn that tears were shed at these kind words, and for a moment it felt like Jeff and Erin were actually with us. Then, it was time to resume the dancing, and enjoy the continued celebration of true love and Great Dunmow Flitches.
Dancing to Country Music standard, ‘Achy, Breaky, Flitch…’
And it doesn’t end here…
… on April 30th we’ll be attending a cheque-handing-over ceremony where the Great Dunmow Rotary club will be giving Over the Wall the proceeds from the Flitch Hog Roast - a massive £1700!
Well done Great Dunmow!